Improvements of my drafts / blog 38

          From the first draft of the paper, I basically wrote down summaries and some analysis in all of my paragraphs, and had a few sentences that demonstrates the main idea of the paragraphs. The grammar was not revised, nor the clarity of the sentences. The ratio of summary and analysis was extremely not balanced because I had too much summaries in my body paragraphs, and there wasn't a lot of analysis of how they changed and why they changed. 

          In the final draft, I revised on my languages, grammar, clarity of the sentences and ratio of analysis and summary, and I had also added some new ideas on why an intense relationship is important in my concluding paragraph, which provides some spaces for the reader to imagine and consider about. I balanced the summary by adding more analysis to both of my body paragraphs. I corrected my citations and all the mistakes in the paper after peer reviewing with my friends and classmates, which is a great improvement from the first draft.