Reflection on revised draft / blog 34

 Read over your draft. Make any grammar corrections that you notice right on the draft itself. Then post on your blog the following reflection: Where are you with your essay? What did you change in the revision and how did it turn out? What else do you need to work on? What do you think your strnegths and weaknesses are? What has been difficult and what has been easy? What have you improved on in your writing so far. 300-500 words

I am almost done with my essay after these past few weeks of writing and revising. I added a quote in the second body paragraph to show how sarcastic and acerb Edmund was, which emphasized the argument that Edmund lacked attention from others because it doesnot tell us in the movie; I had also added more analysis of how Edmund had changed after he established a friendship with Aslan. Edmund is a very interesting character, he is a very intertwined person about what he should do in his daily life, so I added a lot of details of the reason why he behaved like a betrayer. It turns out to make the second body paragraph very detailed about Edmund's analysis before the change that occurred after, makes the reader understand him more, but it had also made this paragraph very wordy and lack of analysis after the change. I think I would delete some of the summaries before Edmund's change because it makes the paragraph wordy and could make the readers lose their interest to read. As the result, I was basically making changes on my second body paragraph where it demonstrates the way Edmund behaves before and after establishing a relationship with Aslan. I had also changed the tense of the body paragraphs to past tense which helps the paper to make more sense. I think I still need to work on the second and third body paragraphs; I am going to add more details and information about how Edmund changed after he met Aslan and how he behaves afterwards. My strength is my introduction, my thesis and the first body paragraph, because it had been revised my many of my classmates and I spent most of my time on this body paragraph. My weakness is the second body paragraph because it sounds a bit wordy and boring, and the facts and analysis is unbalanced now. I would spend more time revising it and go to the writing center to have Ms Wendy look over it. Writing the summary of the stories is easy because it requires no thinking but only paraphrasing. Writing the analysis is much harder because it is not mentioned in the book or movie, and we have to really consider about the reason why something turned out to be what had happened. I had a lot of improvements during these few weeks; I corrected my tenses, added more analysis to the second paragraph, had an organized structure of my paper, and had written an analytical intro and an analytical ending paragraph. I think I need to work on my body paragraph to make them more clear and analytical.